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Funny ways bees let you know that you shouldn't be a beekeeper?

I’m writing a humorous story in which a man wants to be a beekeeper, because his father’s hobby was beekeeping. I want the bees to let him know three times that he shouldn’t be a beekeeper. I heard that sometimes the entire colony gets up and flies off to find a new home? What’s that called? What are two other ways that bees could tell you to find a different avocation? No dead bees and no stinging anyone please! I’m thinking that the bees could spell out a message? What would they say? My third idea is that he opens the hive and finds that they’ve built a model of King Ludwig’s Neuschwanstein Castle (that the Disneyland castle is based on).

Welcome to the Flow forum @tdkehoe!

I have to say that I have a visceral reaction, diametrically opposed to your hypothetical situation, but I will still try to help. :crazy_face:

The visceral reaction comes from the concept that everyone should be gently encouraged and nurtured to become a beekeeper. Bees don’t love us or hate us. They are not like “companion pets” i.e. dogs, cats etc.

Bees tolerate us if we understand them and handle them gently and considerately. If a person can overcome their innate fears, phobias, pain thresholds, thoughtlessness, laziness and selfishness, they can become a good beekeeper. That message is key to me. :blush:

The technical name is swarming if the bees were happy and wanted to do it. If they were forced into because their home was unsuitable, it is called absconding.

  1. By you developing an allergy to bee or wasp stings. I know you said no stinging anyone, but if you are deathly allergic to wasp stings, you will be to bee stings too. Same type of venom, more or less.
  2. Pooping on your brand new solar panels which are so out of reach that they cost a fortune to clean. Bees don’t poop in the hive. They poop in the surrounding area, and seem to love pooping on shiny surfaces. Any solar panel, BMW windshield etc will do. They don’t do it deliberately, but sh#t happens, even with bees. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

OK, that’s enough. But let’s not diss the bees, right? :wink:


Hi Thomas,
It’s been a few weeks since you posted and I don’t know why I missed the post until now. Are you still looking for some suggestions? If so, get in touch. I’ve a background in writing funny poetry and fiction for kids and can think of a bunch of different suggestions.

Thanks, I used the suggestion of bees pooping on the upholstery of a Mercedes convertible with the top down. :slight_smile:

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